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Friday, June 13, 2008

bad blogger...bad bad...

Ok, I've been a terrible blogger for the past couple of months. really.

I've been sticking with my running. And I managed to get my work out in all five days this week.

Monday I ran for 12 minutes, Wednesday I ran for 5 minutes (hurting shins) and today I ran for about 8 minutes. I also upped my milage....I think I'm doing almost 2 miles 3 times a week now. I also did 2o minutes cardio, and total body strength training 2x.

And...when I weighed myself on Tuesday? I was up 5 pounds from my lowest weight. I was pretty pissy about that fact on tuesday....then I remembered what maintaining is....fluctuating. Then I remembered that I don't want to maintain, that if I were being as healthy (mentally, and physically) then I would probably still be losing.
I can't quite figure out what my stumbling block is. I ordered "Fit From With-In." by Victoria Moran from amazon.com I've heard good things about it. It helps me to be introspective when someone else is posing the hard questions. Otherwise I can just skim over life, and not get to my root feelings. My eating disorder was like that.

It took me years to realize my binge eating started at the exact same time my mom and dad seperated (they are together now). I was nine, in my mind I was just eating sweets.

I don't want to get all "Biggest Loser" here, I don't feel like I'm afraid to lose weight. I don't think of my "fat" as a shield, I don't use it as an excuse not to love. I know that I am worth every good thing in my life, and every good thing that has yet to happen to me., but maybe I do have a mental thing inside...that prevents me from truly staying on the healthy track.

4 comments:

dobetter said...

Allison- I am so sorry. Sounds like you are getting great workouts in. You are so right, maintaining means fluxuating, not loosing. I hope fit from within gives good insights. I'll be looking forward to reading about what you've learned.

dobetter said...

oops, guess I can't spell fluctuating!

Mark Salinas said...

Great job with the running! If I can suggest one important lesson that I have learned...listen to your body. If your shins are hurting too much maybe modify to a fast walk or another low impact cardio work out. I use ice on my shins also. Motivation is a daily challenge on my end...I wrote a article on my site about it. Nice post!

Allison said...

Karen,
Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Mark,
Thanks for the reminder about my shins. Really...I know that when they start hurting....it's time to slow down. I'll have to check out your site.
Thanks for stopping by.