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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

frustrations

So, today is Tuesday, the day that I weigh my self each week. I didn't weigh my self last week on Tuesday. I did on Thursday, and I had maintained my weight from the week before. This week I've gained two pounds. I"m not so unrealistic that I think my weight won't fluctuate...although it usually doesn't too frquently. I have to admit that I was bummed to see the gain. I know that I don't really believe that my weight defines me, and I'm still of the mindset that I don't need to be a certain weight, that I just need to be healthy and happy.
And let's be honest....since leaving for Vegas I haven't been healthy. I haven't been treating my body to exercise..and I haven't been filling it with good nutritious foods either. It hasn't been all junk and debauchery, but there has been an increased amount.

The thing is....I don't know what my bodies happy weight is. I think it's about 210 pounds. I refuse to be insane and count calories and workout to the point of injury or exhaustion. But I also refuse to quit eating cake, or little pieces of chocolate or drinking a beer on Friday with my dinner. And I think if I'm being good to my body..it will settle between 210 and 225. The thing is, I just don't know how to not get a little upset about gaining two pounds....but I'm working on it.
Ok, I guess I'm not upset about the two pound gain, I'm frustrated that I made choices I knew I shouldn't have. I didn't eat intuitively--I really need to find Victoria Moran's "Fit from with-in."
Maybe I'll check it out on amazon today...

2 comments:

Karen said...

Don't get discouraged. Like you said, our bodies fluctuate. You had a great time in Vegas, don't let this diminish those memories.

And I totally agree with what you said, "I refuse to be insane and count calories and workout to the point of injury or exhaustion. But I also refuse to quit eating cake, or little pieces of chocolate or drinking a beer on Friday with my dinner". I think if more girls/women thought like this there wouldn't be rampant self-loathing in our society.

Allison said...

Karen,
Thanks. That was exactly what I needed.