Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Down to 246, for two weeks in a row.
Not bad.

I feel stuck when I write here.

I'm not super passionate about any aspect of this health thing.
I'm not totally disordered, I don't beat my self up over eating too much, I don't exercise to the point of fanatacism, I don't really count my calories...but...

I don't totally embrace health at every size. I don't feel like I will be satisfied if 13 pounds is all I had to lose. I know that I once weight less then 215 (seriously, I wish I could remember how much I weighed in College at my lowest, 209 or 207 is what sticks out in my mind, which would mean that I gained..uh..more than 50 pounds in four years. about 12.5 pounds a year. WOW). Part of me wants to be down there again. I was 20 when I was that weight. Is that an adult? was body done changing by then? Is that even feasible?

I want to work to be 235 for vegas, to show off for my girlfriends.

I want to be out of the women's section of clothing, I don't want to HAVE to go lane bryant for sexy bras.

what I really want is to know is how to do all of those things at the same time!