BS Alarm

I always read before bed. Last night I went to open a library book, and discovered the first 25 pages of the paperback missing! I was discourage and went to bed with no reading. A fate worse than going to bed with no dinner.

I normally read during my lunch break as well. With out reading fodder today, I ate my lunch and then headed to the bookstore down the road for some “browsing.” I was hoping to find “Slow, Fat, Triathlete” but had no luck. I had about 10 minutes to kill, so I perused the magazine section. I picked up the newest SELF, mainly for the fact that Zoey Deschanel was on the cover. How gorgeous is she?
Anyhow, as I was skimming, I came upon a quiz. I stopped doing and being entertained by magazine quizzes in middle school, but the title caught my eye “How to tell if you are fat, or will be fat” or something like that. Hah. I thought, I am going to do this, because clearly the mirror doesn’t tell me if I am fat already or not (realize I am coming at this from a societally fat perspective).
The first question, 1) What is your BMI? You select the range your BMI is in, and receive the points associated with that. Well..I don’t know my BMI, wait let me Google it real quick. 38. Yep, obese. Good. So, for people with a BMI of 30 or over you start with 64 points. 64! Hot damn.
Ok, so I keep 64 in my mind, and continue with the quiz.
Some questions:
2) how often do you eat breakfast
3) how often do you exercise at least 30 minutes a day
4) how many hours of TV do you watch per week
5) how stressed are you

Etc etc.
So I start with a BMI that classifies me as obese. But, I live a healthy lifestyle, so I only have to add 1 or 2 points and sometimes I get to subtract some.
The Verdict?

I might end up overweight. Or maybe it said I already am over weight. I don’t remember how many categories there were, at least three. Normal, Overweight and Obese.
So, my lifestyle points are low enough to negate my obesity on the BMI scale? Or….are the makers of the quiz assuming that with a BMI of 38, I probably have a totally un-healthy lifestyle?

Or am I reading too much into this and really this is the editors of SELF realizing that while I might be obese I might also have a healthy lifestyle?

I hate the BMI, it’s such bullshit.

Eat your HEART out!

image via veer.com

So…..one of my main goals with living a healthy lifestyle is not to look good in a pair of jeans, or to be a head turner at my 10 year high school reunion…but to actually be physically healthy. (Don’t get me wrong, those first two would be nice) You know, to have good cholesterol levels, and be able to walk a mile, go up a flight of stairs, know what real nutrition is and how to cook for my self.

Well..I’ve made efforts toward those things, and obviously I know how I am doing physically by my body response (not huffing and puffing up the stairs) but I can’t do anything to check my cholesterol or general heart health. And to be honest, I’ve always been a little afraid. I am one of those people who becomes a hypochondriac when getting medical tests. I always convince myself that I am going to have 80 cavaties before I get my teeth cleaned, or that I am going to have an irregular pap. Every summer at camp when we had to have our hair checked for lice, I was CONVINCED I would have lice, even though I had made my mom check the night before. I am not a hypochrondriac in every day life. Just when it involves “testing.”

Today is our Employee Health and Wellness Fair, and some lab donated lipid panels (cholesterol, LDL, HDL, Triglycerides, Glucose) to all of the employees. I waivered back and forth…I’m gonna get it done, I’m not gonna get it done. Will, Wont. Will, Won’t. Will……Will. So yesterday I decided to bite the bullet and sign up for an 8am lipid panel. At least 8 hours of fasting was required, and I was NOT waiting for breakfast even longer than I had to! I like to eat.

So I showed up at work today, and they pricked my finger and my blood came out sooooo slowly. I joked with the tester and said my blood was still frozen from when I was out scraping the windows on my care. He finally got enough blood, and but my little vial in the tester. I stood back and waited for my results. The results were given to you right there, but not privately. I mean, you sat down and talked with someone, but there was no privacy at all. It wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on the people before me, but somehow still figured out the cop whose results came out before mine has been eating too many carbs (or didn’t fast long enough). I was scared….I didn’t want EVERYONE to know that I had high Cholesterol and clearly need to work out more and was sure the person was going to say “as an obese person you clearly need to work on a,b, and c) I told you I got a little maniacal.
So they called my name, and I sat down and the tester said “You have Great Results!! But you probably already knew that!” uh..no actually I didn’t. I’ve never had it tested before, and to be honest, all hyper hypo-ness aside, I wasn’t convinced that I wouldn’t be at least border line high. I do weigh 240 pounds. But..it wasn’t just on the verge of being high,…..it was low. Low enough to be considered great. In all of the categories.

Getting those results felt better than any amount of weight I’ve lost on the scale. Pounds can come and go, but you can still be internally unhealthy. For me, this was one of those things that made me feel like my concerted effort at being Healthy is worth it, for reasons so much larger than any pair of pants. Go ahead and tell me that my BMI is too high…because that is ok. It is possible to be Healthy At Every Size…more people just need to know it.

My Monthly Gift/friend./Aunt has arrived….

What euphemism are Alabamans (Alabamanians?) going to use when they have to pay $25 dollars a month to their insurance companies for having a BMI over 35? I personally would call it “The bill that insults my person and my civil liberties.”

I read about this on MSN, again not a bastion of journalism,this mornign and now I can't find the link. The State of Alabama has decided that because obese people’s health care costs more than non obese people, Employees of the State will have to start paying a monthly fee of $25 until their BMI “shows improvement” or goes below 35.

Wow.
Wow
Wow.

Are there words for this? How is this different than charging someone $25 dollars a month for being gay? I chose gay as an example, because some people see being gay as a choice, just as some people see being fat as a choice. I am not gay, nor do I believe that people chose to be gay. For the record. Oh, Here is a better one…why don’t we charge people $25 dollars month during pregnancy? Cause lord knows that is expensive, and is a choice.

I am obese, according to the BMI chart. I’ve harangued on this enough.( see previous posts) I don’t need to expound again on my exercise habits and eating habits. So… in this Alabama deal, according to the article, a person who is 5’6” who weigh 220 pounds will have a BMI of 35. Damn! 220 is the weight I am when I am at my fittest!

According to this “study” which they conveniently don’t link to, Obese Americans spend, 1700 dollars more per year on health care. Or maybe that was the extra amount Insurance companies spend on obese people. I haven’t spent that much this year, or last year, or the year before. Or any year of my adult life. And all of those years I was obese.

This makes me so mad, that I can’t even write a coherent, thoughtful, witty post on it. Which was my intent. I guess one of the things that frustrates me the most, is that this is the State, not a private entity that can get away with this crap.

I suppose, I should say, in the states “defense” they do plan on giving regular, free, health care and wellness help to those individuals whose BMI’s are too high.

I guess I should mention that they also charge $25 dollars a month to smokers.

I’m pretty sure there is this document in the United States called oh I don’t know… THE CONSTITUTION, under which we have certain inalienable rights.
One of which is the pursuit of happiness. What if what makes me happy is smoking a cigarette and being fat.
Huh? What then.